What the Christ Happened to Lindsay’s Face

Uh, what in the Christ happened to Lindsay’s face? Lindsay is fresh out of rehab and playing “tan, tan, give me a tan” at some random tanning salon. It’s not the tan, however, that I’m questioning. What happened to her eyes, nose, and teeth? It’s like Lindsay suffered from Downs Syndrome after she stopped drinking and drugging. Wait, that can’t happen can it? It’s almost like Lindsay No Pants has in those fake Halloween teeth/smile. I’m confused as all hell. Anyway it’s good to see Lindsay sober and out and about and by “good” I really mean “status quo” and by “status quo” I really mean “boring” and by “boring” I mean “I’m forced to pull out 2nd grade down syndrome jokes.” What a world. Come on Linds, grab a shot? Shotgun a beer? Have a shotgun wedding? Do something with a gun? Fine, I’m done.