Rehab Made Lindsay Lohan a Lesbian?

I’m trying to figure out if it was technically the rehab facility or the sobriety that made Lindsay Lohan a raging lesbian. According to NYDailyNews Lindsay No Pants personal myspace account was hacked and what was discovered was secret lesbian love letters to her “friend” DJ Samantha Ronson. What did these letters allegedly say you ask? Good question. Here’s one that their claiming:

From Lindsay to Samantha: “Babe, if I don’t have you in my life then I should just go die…I want to marry you and have children with you. Go to bed babe. I love you.”

And then she signed it “Lindsay Ronson.” Let’s analyze this, shall we? How can you just “go die?” Now how does that work? It’s not like you can just be like, “ok well I’ll go die now.” Wait can you? Lindsay should test this concept out. Look I don’t care if Lindsay is a lesbian or not. Regardless, these letters are retarded. Anyway, the photos above were taken of Lindsay No Pants heading out to brunch yesterday, which brings me to my next point. Rehab is a blast.

Who Shot That!?!