Seriously it’s like if you want to give Lindsay Lohan an intervention you should just do it yourself. Michael Lohan is useless. According to the crackheads over at TMZ, Michael Lohan and some Sheriff’s deputies headed over to Casa de Lohan to check on the “welfare” of his daughters, Lindsay and Ali (please repeat those names, but say it with a raspy crack voice). Welfare, clearly, is the right choice of word.
To no surprise, this intervention did not go as planned. Such a rookie mistake. Everyone knows you’re supposed to have them come to you and then when they open the door you’re sitting their with about 5 -7 families members all holding notebooks and then a bald guy with a mustache says, “Hi. I’ve spent some time the your family since yesterday and there’s a bunch of people here who love you like crazy and will do anything to keep you alive. They’re gonna say some stuff and you’re gonna say some stuff. And that’s it.” Duh!
However, according to Dinasaur Lohan, Michael didn’t even recognize his own daughter, Ali, when he entered the apartment. Dinasaur spewed, “Michael walked into the apartment looked right at Ali and said, I’m looking for my daughter Ali, is she here?”
Dinasaur continued (in between spin dance moves), “I’m in shock right now. I can’t really speak. I’m petrified for my girls and their safety. I’m just trying to get to the bottom of all this. My girls are so afraid of him, I’ve had an order of protection place since 2005 and it stands until 2011. Ali is out there visiting. They are so afraid for their lives. My ex-husband is dangerous.”
Well, I mean, in Michael’s defense, maybe he didn’t recognize Ali because both she an Lindsay look like they’ve were caught in the middle of a hurricane gang bang? Just a theory.
I can’t wait to hear the speech that Dinasaur and Michael will give at the memorial service. Seriously, someone help these girls, now. And I’m not talking to Michael Lohan. Can’t Oprah do something?