Seriously itās like if you want to give Lindsay Lohan an intervention you should just do it yourself.Ā Michael Lohan is useless.Ā According to the crackheads over at TMZ, Michael Lohan and some Sheriffās deputies headed over to Casa de Lohan to check on the āwelfareā of his daughters, Lindsay and Ali (please repeat those names, but say it with a raspy crack voice).Ā Welfare, clearly, is the right choice of word.
To no surprise, this intervention did not go as planned.Ā Such a rookie mistake.Ā Everyone knows youāre supposed to have them come to you and then when they open the door youāre sitting their with about 5 -7 families members all holding notebooks and then a bald guy with a mustache says, āHi.Ā Iāve spent some time the your family since yesterday and thereās a bunch of people here who love you like crazy and will do anything to keep you alive.Ā Theyāre gonna say some stuff and youāre gonna say some stuff.Ā And thatās it.āĀ Duh!
However, according to Dinasaur Lohan, Michael didnāt even recognize his own daughter, Ali, when he entered the apartment.Ā Dinasaur spewed, āMichael walked into the apartment looked right at Ali and said, Iām looking for my daughter Ali, is she here?ā
Dinasaur continued (in between spin dance moves), āIām in shock right now. I canāt really speak. Iām petrified for my girls and their safety. Iām just trying to get to the bottom of all this. My girls are so afraid of him, Iāve had an order of protection place since 2005 and it stands until 2011. Ali is out there visiting. They are so afraid for their lives. My ex-husband is dangerous.ā
Well, I mean, in Michaelās defense, maybe he didnāt recognize Ali because both she an Lindsay look like theyāve were caught in the middle of a hurricane gang bang?Ā Just a theory.
I canāt wait to hear the speech that Dinasaur and Michael will give at the memorial service.Ā Seriously, someone help these girls, now.Ā And Iām not talking to Michael Lohan.Ā Canāt Oprah do something?