Michael Lohan Not to Look at Daughter’s Freckly Rack

With all the smut talk about daughter Lindsay No Pants and her newly exposed rack attack, Us Weekly asked Michael Lohan if he was going to take a sneak peak her Marilyn Monroe inspired knockers. Michael, the noble man he is, stated, “I’m not going to look at those photos – that’s my daughter!” Like zoinks Scoob! Michael did not, however, comment if he would indeed motorboat Lindsay. As a top notch celebrity reporter I am in process of emailing that question to Michael as we speak.

Michael continued on by saying, “Lindsay is an adult, and she knows the direction she wants to take her career. It’s her decision. The fact that the photographer [Bert Stern] who did Marilyn Monroe’s pictures would ask Lindsay to re-create them…that’s an amazing thing.”

Yes Michael that is amazing. You know what else is amazing? The fact that your daughter is covered in red freckles, yet you do not seem to have any. Clearly she can blame that on Dina (the love of my life). I will try to reach Dina for comment too, but will assume she is in the process of tanning….and I don’t want to disturb her.

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