Ah Lindsay Lohan. She’s like a fresh morning dew, on a brand new day. Looking greasy easy, sleazy breezy, alcohol-filled beautiful, Lindsay successfully landed at JFK airport the other day to take care of her many business ventures (I couldn’t even type that with a straight face) in the Big Orange (freckle).
Just think, all of “that” was lounging in what I can only assume is a business class chair and you’ll be the next one on that plane trying to relax on the same seat that probably is as slippery as a hookers hand in church. I’m not technically sure what that means, but I think I know. Yeah, it kind of works. And I pretty much like it. Ha, a hookers hand in church. Even Jesus is smiling right now, I bet.
Where was I going with this story? Eh, pointless. Lindsay Lohan is still alive. There’s your story.