Lindsay Lohan’s Magical Asthma!

Watch out behind you Lindsay! Freddie Kruger doesn’t care if you’re at the hospital due to asthma related symptoms….he’ll slash your freckly ass!

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Rotten had to stop by el hospital in NYC the other day and those zany paparazzi caught them in the act…of walking through the hospital door. Of course the rumors were flying and Blessed Mother Dinasaur Lohan came to the rescue via People Magazine.

This shit it great. Dinasaur defended her daughter and explained her late night hospital visit by saying, “She was losing oxygen. She couldn’t breathe. She was afraid to go to the hospital because the paparazzi were gonna write about it. She was sick. If you were sick, and you’re mother couldn’t even take you to a hospital because paparazzi will fabricate some story, you know it’s sad. It’s really sad.”

Holy spellcheck Dina! First off I am the WORST speller in the world, clearly. But if I was writing something to People Magazine, I would press F7 before sending out that letter and spell check it up!

Next up, for someone who is “losing oxygen” Lindsay looks pretty good to me. My guess is that Samantha Rotten was using some concoction of bleach, rubbing alcohol, paint thinner, and some sandpaper to try and remove over 16,000 of Lindsay’s freckles and the mix of chemicals made them both ill. Either that or it was a “carpet” dye job gone bad. Maybe Samantha isn’t into the red. Who knows. It’s a matter of preference.
Finally, I do agree with Dina, though, on one point. I do remember when I was little and had the flu and my mother tried to take me to the hospital, but she couldn’t because the paparazzi were following us so she sent me to go there with my dirty lesbian friend who looks eerily similar to Freddie Kruger. Oh wait, none of that happened. Dinasaur, you are brilliant story teller. Bravo!

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