Lindsay Lohan is Just Going to Go to Jail for a Spell. Hopefully This Takes Care of That Pesky “Coke Bloat,” Dina Ponders.


I don’t care if she serves 90 days, 23 days, or just a side of ham and hash browns. I don’t even care if Linday Lohan loses her freckle rights in prison.  Basically I’m just trying to work the term “spell” back into my vocabulary and, quite honestly, I kinda thought the “coke bloat” was pretty good.  Other than that, couldn’t care less.  Well, I care enough to type this at 95 words per minute but that’s another story for another time with other people.

As you know by now, Lohan is going sit-a-spell in the prison system for a little while. I’m not sure why, exactly, but I guess it’s better than death.  Georgia rule!  My Little Lohan broke down in court when Judge Judy handed out othe setence of 90 days.  Dina was shocked and, from what I read, couldn’t believe that they’re doing this to her daughter.  It’s not fair.  The only thing that is fair, in my opinion, is Lindsay’s skin.  It’s quite fair so I suggest she slather on the SPF 90 when she’s hammering down tracks on the railroad all the live-long day.

According to the drunks over at TMZ, Lohan tested postive for Zoloft, Trazodone, Adderall, Nexium, and Dilaudid during her random drug tests.  For those of you who aren’t familiar with all of these drugs, I believe it’s called the “Anna Nicole Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Punch” on the drink menu at Planet Hollywood.  They could have changed it though.  I don’t keep up.

Best wishes Linds!  90 days in prison?  My, my you’re practically a lady!

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