Don’t Worry Lindsay, Daddy Lohan is Here to Help! Phhhhew! You’re Saved!

Fret no more my dearest Lindsay No Pants. Getting a little tired of the ho-hum boring aspects of Camp Rehab? Well worry no more because a clown is literally coming to visit you. That’s right! Heeeeeere’s daddy (Lohan)! Clean cut Michael Lohan is on his way to Utah to spend a little quality time with Lindsay for 5 whole days. No need to worry Lindsay, you still have about 5 hours left to discover creative places to hide your checkbook, purse, and any loose change that’s hanging around your room. Similar to a crime dog, Michael will sniff that shit out.

Michael will be escorting Lindsay from her safe Utah rehab facility to a “remote and undisclosed” location in Utah. Hmmmm, sounds safe. $10.00 says that Michael tries to buy a dime-bag off a chipmunk.

Michael has recently said about Lindsay, “Lindsay is weeding out all the bad. She’s taking a step back and reevaluating her life. What she tells – her honesty and openness – has brought me to tears. It’s beyond words how proud I am of her.”

Notice the clue in the quote? “Weeding?” They’re gonna try to score some weed. Alert the camp counselors at once!

Who Said That!?!

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