Dina Lohan Addresses Everyone. I Address Dina. I Also Address Envelopes, But That’s Another Story.

I hate when I take a day off from IBBB as a lot tends to happen in the news. By now you all have heard that Dina Lohan seems to be personally addressing every single TV show, person, and website out there that is commenting on Lindsay Lohan. She’s pissed at Jay Leno for allowing jokes about Lindsay to be broadcast during such a difficult time. She’s pissed at the paparazzi. She’s also emailed Maxim magazine too! I love me some crazies. You know what, I feel like it’s time that I address Dina Lohan, my newest obession.

Dear Dina (you wild little tramp),
How are you? What’s new? N/M/H. I have a question for you. Do you spray-tan or go in the actual tanning bed? My money is on the spray-tan just because you’re a little on the orange side. Well, it’s more of a tangerine color actually and tanning bulbs typically make you more brown/red than orange. Just a question, don’t get so defensive. I heard you used to be a Rockette. What an honor! Can you still kick that high? I bet you can. If you can, perhaps you can literally kick Lindsay’s ass because that what she needs, a good ass kicking. While you’re at it, bitch slap Ali too. Do it while she’s young enough to listen. As a side note, if Lindsay is still looking for a new personal assistant I think I’m the perfect candidate (just don’t read anything on this site titled: Lindsay Lohan and/or Lindsay No Pants). Anyway, hope you are well. Keep fighting the good fight and keep tanning the good tan!

P.S –> White-trash with money never goes out of style.

Luke-Warm Regards,
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