Victoria Beckham Sprouts a Penis

At the Glamour Woman of the Year Awards (huh?), Poshtoria shows off her new little penis. Come on now Poshtoria, nobody likes a bragger. Seriously? You’re a mother. Where are you pants, or at least an apron that covers your man-penis? Yes, man-penis. Sometimes I need to clarify because if I don’t you could think I meant dog-penis and Poshtoria does not have one of those. Anyway, back to this random award show. Poshtoria was named “Woman of the Year” and “Entrepreneur of the Year.” What an honor. So what was her speech you ask? Brilliance. Here it goes (please insert horrific British accent while reading):

“I don’t feel the need to be famous anymore, but fame has given me the tools to do what I really love. Whether it’s perfume, sunglasses, jeans – I enjoy all of them.”

Wait, huh? What does that even mean? Oh, and by “tools” you mean “boobs and a penis” right?

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