This Time Last Year: The Hills

Memories, like the corners of my useless mind. I’d like to reintroduce a new little segment called “This Time Last Year.” This Time Last Year will take a brief look at what was going on in the celebrity world…this time last year (go figure). Oh, and also I’m lazy so this is pretty easy to do on a Friday. Here’s what was going on with The Hills and IBBB this time last year…
  • Is it just me or is this season of “The Hills” like 549 episodes long? This episode really pulls from the bottom of the barrel and gives random Laguna Beach friend turned random The Hills friend, Jenn, a little camera time. It’s Jenn Bunny’s (??) 21st birthday and that can only mean one thing: Get drunk, say wicked stupid stuff that you don’t think the cameras picked up on (they did pick up on it), and be as annoying as possible (almost as annoying as this site…I said almost). Will Jenn screw over Lauren? Will Heidi make herself look like even more of an ass? Will Steve Sanders create a new catchphrase this episode? Will Lauren do the “ugly cry?” So many questions, so little time. Below are some real philosophical thoughts I’ve had while watching this train-wreck of an episode.
  • Audrina actually thinks Steve Sanders put a spell on Heidi. Yup. She actually said that. Audrina, do you know you’re not in a Mighty Mouse cartoon?
  • With all the money that Jenn’s family has you’d think she would have gotten a nose job. No one is that comfortable with themselves. Yeah, I went there.
  • Is Whitney retarded? No, like I don’t mean dumb, I actually mean physically challenged.
    Is MTV forgetting to hit the “censor” button? At one point Steve Sanders actually says to Brody “Chucks” Jenner that he needs to get in Jenn’s back door. No really, he said that. Can you say that on TV? Jim Walsh would not stand for this, Steve.
  • Uh-oh “girls night out” at The Geisha house means “and cue the stereotypical “sake” shots and girls screaming.”
  • Oh, by the way Jenn and Heidi are evil whores.
  • Who actually says the words, “he’ll mack you ASAP”?? No really, who? Give me their names and addresses.
  • Um, does anyone know that Brody and Lauren were “fake dating?” Why do they all keep trying to hook him up with Jenn?
  • What’s a “Jenn Bunney?”
  • Does Myspace pay MTV to have them reference Myspace in every episode?
  • Why do Lauren and Whitney always have to set up the flowers in a straight line at work? Is that work?
  • Jenn hooked up with Brody. Lauren seems surprised. Does she not know she’s on a semi-scripted reality show?
  • Best line of the show, “He’s a sucky person, he’s a sucky person” ~ Lauren about Steve Sanders.

Will Lauren and Heidi be able to fix their friendship after the fight at the end of this episode? Will Jenn ever appear on another MTV California reality show? Tune in next week. Oh, P.S if you haven’t read this entire post with a sarcastic overtone you have done yourself a disservice.

This Time Last Year: The Hills

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