The Manliest Kardashian Heads to Jail

Don’t drop the soap, boys, because Khloe Kardashian is heading to the slammer and she’ll surely assault you with her penis. She’s been tucking it in between her legs for years. Surprise!

Khloetard has been sentenced to 3 full days in LA County jail for violating her probation after her DUI arrest. She was supposed to fulfill her community service which included roadside cleanup and enrolling in alcohol education class. Wait, she didn’t do her roadside cleanup? Isn’t that her job anyway? I mean, besides her full time job of being a horrible, horrible person. Just horrible.

In even more shocking news, Khloe has a rep. Her rep has told People that “Khloe is ready and willing to serve her sentence, no matter how long and where, and have this resolved.”

Yeah, it’s not so much as she’s willing and ready as she is forced, by law, to do this. No one says they’re willing to go to jail. You’re told to go. Is it bad that I’m kinda wishing that someone takes a pillowcase filled with soda cans to Khloe’s face? Screw you and what you think about it. I’m adding it to my letter to Santa.

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