Spencer’s Busy, Let IBBB Take a Message: 4

Back by popular demand is my own advice column: “Spencer’s Busy, Let IBBB Take a Message” In case you need to be caught up on what this is click here to read last weeks. Anyway, thank to all of you sick bastards who wrote in a question and sorry to those of you who I didn’t choose. Keep sending them and I’ll keep printing them out and shredding them! Here we go….

Dear IBBB,
First of all, why are you so sexy? Second, is it wrong to carry vodka in my water bottle when I’m going to meetings – or actually, whenever I work in general?

Sincerely,Larlita
PS: So, do you like, want to go out with me or what?

Dearest Larlita,
There are too many reasons why I’m so sexy to list out here, but what’s most important is that it’s been stated. I may be considered sexy in the blogging community, but that’s like being considered the whore in a group full of nuns. Sure, the nun is considered the whore, but you’re comparing her to all the other nuns. Make sense? Me either. Moving on, you bring up an excellent point in regards to the vodka. No, it is never wrong to bring vodka to your meetings or just whilst in work in general. What is wrong is not switching over to rum during your lunch break. You see, the vodka will give you a great buzz during the hours of 9am – 12pm but you definitely need to bring your glow to the next level once you run out for a bite to eat. If you’re not doing that then I’d assume you aren’t working hard enough. Finally, with a name like Larlita I’d assume you were one of the members of Destiny’s Child that got kicked out. In the case, “yes” I will go out with you.

Signed,
IBBB

I have a question for your Spencer’s Busy, Let IBBB Take a Message segment. It is:
Why are middle-aged women such bitches? I work in customer service and take phone calls from various people every day. The only ones that want pick fights with me, hate on everything and talk like their dead inside, is these middle-aged bitches. What’s wrong with them?

Thank-you.
Emily

Greetings Emily,
You could have just asked the question you didn’t need the intro sentence. I’m pretty sure the less words you type the better it is for the environment. I think it has something to do with “going green.” Anyway, I think it’s extremely rude and closed minded to say that middle-aged women are bitches. That is in extremely poor taste. In actuality most women, regardless of age, are bitches. That lady on the train with her umbrella poking you. Bitch. That chick that could have been a model that didn’t give me the time of day. Bitch. That crossing guard that lets every single student cross the street right when I’m at the crosswalk. Bitch. Let me ask you Emily, are you a bitch too? I think it’s a magnetic thing. Kinda like the law of attraction. Bitch attracts bitch. I’m also pretty sure that’s a psalm in the Bible as well. Next time one of these bitches makes you mad just simply respond, “Hey. Stop it at once. I’m a bitch too. If we can combine out bitchiness together then we can double bitch that dumb bitch who’s sitting next to my cubical bitching about some bitch on phone who’s bitching at her. Get it, bitch?”

Signed,
You’re Still a Bitch

***Need advice from IBBB? Email me: ImBringingBloggingBack at Yahoo.com. Maybe I’ll add your question to this site. Maybe I won’t. At the end of the day, who really cares.***

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