Oprah Talks All Crazy While on Diet

So, uh, Oprah is all tweaking out and junk from her 21 day detox diet. Blessed Mother Oprah Winfrey completed her diet and then took to her blog to write down some thoughts that I kind of have no clue what she’s talking about. Let’s take a look into the detoxed brain of Oprah, shall we?

“Day 21…yes I want some wine. Bordeaux 82. Just one glass at sunset, almost broke down and had a glass. I didn’t, mostly because of my commitment to fellow VCTers. Tomorrow Scarlet…tomorrow is another day. That’s my mantra for now. This has been exactly what we intended: enlightening. I will forever be a more cautious and conscious eater. That’s my commitment for now. To stay awakened. “

Yowza. That’s almost word for word what the drunken homeless dude I walk by on my way to work said to me this morning. What in the holy hell is Oprah talking about? Why do I feel that all of a sudden at the Oprah compound she is reenacting that Bugs Bunny episode when those two guys are shipwrecked and keep looking at each other like they’re a pork chop and hot dog? And you know Gayle is the hot dog. You just know it.

Oh well, hopefully Oprah sticks to her detox plan and goes completely insane. At least her show will be watchable then.

Source: Oprah’s Blooooooooog!

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