Michelle Rodriguez Goes Directly to Jail, Does Not Pass Go, Does Not Collect $200.00

Jail is he new rehab and I think that’s great! Just the other day it was stated that Keifer Sutherland will be spending about 48 days in jail for his latest and greatest DUI and now it appears that the soft spoken Michelle Rodriguez will be spending 6 beautiful months in prison for violating her probation. She didn’t do her dumb community service and she was caught drinking 3-times while wearing her alcohol monitoring bracelet.

Rodriguez must report to the slammer by December 24th. Ho-ho-ho! Not only will Santa not be able to find her, but she’ll miss Jesus’ birthday too. What a real let down. She won’t be home for Christmas, you can’t count on her.

I think Michelle Rodriguez is going to perform miraculously in the slammer. I predict she will come out with multiple tattoos, girlfriends, and possibly an STD or two. You know she’s going to spend the majority of her time in the shower. Bom-chica-bom-bom.

Jail is the new rehab and the old bulimia!

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