Matthew McConaughey Pregnant

Matthew McConaughey and his sex partner, Camilla Alves, have confirmed that they are in fact having a bastard child! Matty Mc’s rep has informed Us Weekly that this story is true. Matty Mc has said, himself, and I quote, “My girlfriend Camilla and I made a baby together. It’s 3 months growin’ in her womb and all looks healthy and lively so far.”

This actually isn’t a joke. He really said that….like that….in those words. I’d assume Matthew would continue on by telling others, “Well yeeee haw! Me and my special lady have gone on and done it again and are havin’ ourselves a fancy lil offspring. Yeeeeee haw (guns in the air)! Y’all see I dipped my business in Camilla’s naughty bits and next thing we’s know was that she was all pukin’ and cryin’ every mornin’. I strapped her to my roof of my truck and we’s took her to the doc. Doc said, well whatdaya know. Y’alls havin’ a kid. So there we are. Yeeeee haw!”

Seriously this 3-month old fetus already has more money than I’ll ever see in my life and it’s father is Jed Clampett.

Who Claims This?!
Matthew McConaughey Pregnant

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