Kirstie Alley to Scare Oprah Audience

It’s almost time to go blind ladies and gentlemen! Kirstie Alley will be living up to her end of the bargain and appearing on Oprah this coming Monday in a bikini. Yes! Or no! Last year when she was on Oprah she said that in one year she would be “bikini ready” and thought of it as an experiment. For some reason Oprah agreed to this mess and the show will air soon.

Alley has said, “The most important reason I want to wear a bikini on Oprah, however, is because if I, a 55-year-old woman, can look even halfway decent, imagine how all of you could look in a bikini. Hell, I’ll never look like Giselle, I never did! But maybe close to Bridget Jones or a Dove girl or something that is just fine and healthy and happy, with no surgery, no lipo and no drugs – that’s saying something!”

Yeah, I don’t know if this is the best idea she’s ever had. What if she looks like shit? Don’t you think people will be like, oh no Jenny Craig totally doesn’t work!? Maybe, if anything, Oprah will give her a car or something. Hell, maybe Oprah and Gayle will get in bikini’s and the world can officially end.

Who Said That!?!

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