Kelly Osbourne Tells the Sun to Kiss Her $%^@# Ass!

What the hell did Mother Nature ever do to Kelly Osbourne? As Kelly was celebrating at the In Style Awards the other night she stopped for a photo opp or two. I have never been more grateful that Playboy didn’t want her. As white as her face is I can’t even imagine what the “un-tanned” parts must look like. I mean, can you get whiter than her face? Luckily, since her face looks like ass I now know what her ass looks like. Great! You do the math. Other things that are lucky? Japan. Kelly has recently stated that she will never live in Japan (that’s make two of us). Apparently she likes to hear the person next to her taking a horribly messy dump. Kelly said, “In public toilets you don’t have to touch anything. A machine gives loo roll and makes birdie noises so you can’t hear the person next door break wind. It spoils the fun!
Yes Kelly, that definitely spoils the fun. Nothing is more fun than having a “fart-off” with the person next to you.

Who Shot That White Mess!?! and Who Said That Crap, Literally!?!

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