I’ve Decided. I’m Marrying Julianne Hough

Well folks, I’ve decided and it’s official. I’m marrying Julianne Hough. She, of course, will take my last name: Julianne BloggingBack. It has a nice ring to it. So I am ashamed to admit that I tuned in for a few minutes (or 30) to watch Dancing With the “Stars” on Monday night because there wasn’t anything else on and I wasn’t sure if Heather Mills was still on and I’ve been waiting to see her leg shoot off like a boomerang. Anyway, I came across Julieanne Hough (not literally, that’s rude). Yup. There she was, a dancing machine….a slutty little dancing machine and it was at that moment that I thought, “ImBringingBloggingBack, that slut will one day be my wife.” Then I thought, “I shouldn’t call my wife a slut.” From there she was just “The old skank-bag misus” from there on out.

I’m not kidding, I would please like to take Julianne Hough out on one date please. Where do I sign up please? Who can make this happen please? I will consider (CONSIDER) stopping the stalking of the Olsen Sluts and focus all my energy on Julianne. I’m not, however, crazy about the name “Julianne” so we may have to change it to something a little more catchy like, “Juanita.” So, Juanita BloggingBack, if you’re out there and you’re reading this…you know what to do. You’re welcome. That’ll be all. Good day.
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