In News I Thought Happened Last Week…

Ashlee Simpson and her fiance Pete Wentz are finally married. These two “entertainers” tied the knot in the backyard of Ashlee’s parents casa in Encino, CA. Joe Simpson, Ashlee’s creepy dad, officiated the wedding ceremony and probably deep-throated his daughter when Pete was supposed to kiss the bride. Oh, and as a predictable sidenote, Ashlee is 4-months pregnant. Shock. Oh, and she had a nose job. Oh, and she had her chin done. Oh, and Milli Vanilli didn’t really sing. Oh, and Magic Johnson has AIDS. Oh, and Dolly Parton’s boobs aren’t real. Oh, and wrestling isn’t real. Oh, and The Hills isn’t reality. Oh, Jack didn’t really trade his cow for some magic beans that grew a magic beanstock. Nicole Richie attended this ceremony and wore a purple dress. Seriously I hate these two, I hate this story, and I hate the fact that Nicole Richie was described being there “wearing a purple dress.” Who gives an F?

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