Oh that wacky OJ! OJ Simpson has been charged with a ton of crap. 2 counts of first-degree kidnapping? Sold! 2 counts of robbery with a deadly weapon? Sold! 2 account of assault with a deadly weapon? Sold!
Sadly, one of the victims of this mess, Bruce Fromong, suffered a major heart attack and is currently in critical condition. Holy crap. If this guy takes a dirt nap, can OJ be charged with some type of murder? Where is my lawyer fan-base?
I just think that OJ is misunderstood. He’s like a delicate flower that just gets mixed up with the wrong crowd. As a side note, who the hell stays at the Palace Station Hotel and Casino? That’s the real crime. Can we charge him with that? Sold! It just sucks because OJ is 60 years old. He should be slowing down as he gets closer to retirement. OJ should be golfing a little, cutting the lawn a little, stabbing a little, kidnapping a little. You know, typical retiree stuff.