IBBB Makes E! News: World Implodes

Ah my disciples! Operation “Sell Out in Year 2” is going off without a hitch for IBBB. Yours truly has gone national and has somehow made it onto the airwaves of E! News. Yes, my friends, apparently using a bagel as a microphone and talking about force-feeding anorexic celebrities on the red carpet during the Emmy Awards is really all you need to do in order to get your ass on television. Remember kids, anorexia is not a disease….it’s a punch line.

Other plans to sell out include, but are no limited too:

  • Being adopted by Angelina Jolie
  • Getting on some type of gameshow
  • Becoming a celebrity assistant (still a goal)
  • Becoming the father of Dina Lohan’s next child
  • Checking myself into rehab in order to go celebrity hunting

All kidding aside, it was quite the honor for this jackass to make his 43 seconds of fame on E! News as it was one of my goals for 2007. Selling out has never felt so good and being on TV has really provided me with self-worth. It kind of makes me better than most people. And I thought the hi-light of my week was telling Nigel Barker about my plans to put Tyra Banks in a headlock. What a difference a day makes.

I’ve also made it onto the E! website…right between Jodie Foster and “The Office” just like I’ve always dreamed?


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