I Wanna Stand Under Jessica Alba’s Umbrella, Ella Ella Eh Eh Eh

Britney Spears and Rihanna really made a big comeback of the “umbrella” joke. Thank God for them. Anyway, my girlfriend (she just doesn’t know it yet) Jessica Alba was in Paris with some friends and, clearly, it must be the dead of winter in Paris because it’s sweater-jackets all around! I won’t let the dramatic clothing make me love Jessica Alba any less. Also, people are still all up in arms because Jessica (or “Jalba” as I like to call her) has denied her heritage and blah blah blah. I think that makes her even more hot. Yup. Be embarrassed about where you came from. Bleed red, white, and blue. USA all the way. Insert other patriotic quotes here _______.
Anyway, in second-hand Jessica Alba news, I spoke with someone who is friends with one of the cast members of the Fantastic Four and they are all extremely bummed at how terrible the movie recently did at the box office even after all the promoting they had done. They already filmed the 3rd installment of the Fantastic Four when they were filming the 2nd installment (that bombed) and now they’re all nervous that this one may never be released at the movies and go straight to DVD. Ok, so this isn’t breaking news or anything, but I bet it’s something none of you knew, so deal with it. Jokes, jokes.
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