Hey Stupids! Gotta Question for IBBB?

gotta question

A spinoff of “Spencer’s Busy…Let IBBB Take a Message,” IBBB is proud to present you with another installment of “Hey Stupids! Gotta Question for IBBB?” Here’s how this works. You have a question or need advice, you send me an email. I read it. I advise. Sometime, depending on my mood, I advice as well. Here are some recent questions/comments I’ve received. The names have been changed to protect the trashy.

Dear IBBB,
Are the “Friends” Really friends?

Signed,
Monica

Dearest Monica,
Faux-thank you for this question.  I truly believe this is one of the great mysteries of the world.  In fact, I plan on asking my Jesus this when I see him either as I get into Heaven…or whilst he is explaining to me why I’ll be taking the express train to hell.  I feel as though this is  a question that can stand the test of time.  I must also admit that whenever I see any celebrity, any celebrity at all, I want to ask them this question….even if they were never connected to the show.  In conclusion, the answer to this question really isn’t any of your business.  That’s like me asking you if you’re really friends with your friends.  I would never ask that. Ever.

Are You Really Friends With Your Friends,
IBBB

Dear IBBB,
You always talking about selling out, yet I notice on this new site you don’t have any sponsors or ads.  What gives?

Signed,
Money-Whore

Dear Money-Whore,
“What gives” sounds like the title to a movie of my arch-nemesis, Diane Keaton.  So basically you already have me all pissed off.  While I do try to sell out on an hourly and minutely basis, it is never really for the money.  In fact, I decided for the time being to not have any ads on this new site at all.  It cheapens me, really, and that’s hard to do.  I enjoy writing for the sake of writing.  I link out to other blogs that I like and they are typically good people who own those blogs.  In turn, they link back to me.  I just like to get my mindless brain-rot out there into the world and, one day, make it onto The Hills.   Ok, that last part was a lie.  Sort of. The fact of the matter is that one day I will make something from this blog.  I’m confident of that.  It just won’t involve monetary gain.  Ok, enough seriousness.

How Much is in Your Bank Account,
IBBB

 

Dear IBBB,
For or against the groundhog?

Signed,
Puxatony Phil

Dear PP,
I am against the groundhog (not literally). I am against all animals.  Dumb dogs, nasty cats, stupid birds….the list goes on.  I think it’s time to switch up the game of the groundhog seeing its shadow.  I say we we let it out of its cage and if it can outrun my bullets then we have 6 more weeks of winter.  If I shoot it dead then Spring starts tomorrow.  Who’s with me?  Ironically enough, this is also the same way I decide what to have for lunch and it works seamlessly.  Good day.

Peta is Wrong,
IBBB

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