Hayden Panettiere Realizes We Have Eyes

Hayden Panettiere may be a little slow on the draw, but she’s finally come to the realization that we, the American public (sorry Canada), have eyes and these eyes, my friends, are able to see her. With that said, Hayden finally got it off her chest that she doesn’t have a model’s body. How do I know this? Uh, because Hayden said, “I don’t have a model’s body” in the recent issue of Cosmopolitan Magazine and, for some reason, recapped by Us Weekly.

Hayden continues on by telling us that she’s not one of those crazy girls who thinks she’s fat and yet she can still rock her body. I, personally, would translate that into, “I am one of those girls who thinks she’s fat and I cannot rock this midget body.” Just guessing.

I actually started to read this article, but as soon as she said, “…I don’t drink” I immediately stopped reading. Nice try, Hayden, but you are much more interesting if you are drunk or suffer from some type of disorder. Notice how we hardly care about Lindsay anymore? Learn from this. Get drunk. Get hot. Go to rehab. Rinse. Lather. Repeat.
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