I still love getting SPAM emails. They’re always so brilliant. However, because I am mentally unbalanced, sometimes I like to write back to these emails. No really, I do. Here’s a little email that I received…and then with the response I sent back to them. Enjoy.
Subject: How are you ? ? ? ?
My Dearest Beloved,
how are you to days ? i hope that all is well with you please i want use this chance to
explain to you about my condition here in the camp of Senegal , In this camp we are only
allowed to go out from the camp only on Fridays of the weeks. Its just like one staying in
the prison and i hope by Gods grace i will come out here soon.i don’t have any relatives now whom i can go to all our relatives ran away in the middle of the war the only person i have now is Rev. David mike ,who is the pastor of the (Christ for all Churches) here in the camp he has been very nice to me since i came here but i am not living with him rather i am leaving in the women’s hostel because the camp have two hostels one for men the other for women.
Meanwhile i will like you to call me like i said i have a lot to tell you.
Have a nice day and think about me. Pleased treat this as very urgent so that if i hear from you i will forward you contact information to the Finance bank for you to contact them, Awaiting
to hear from you soonest
Yours in love
Here was my response:
What’s shakin’ Amina! It’s so good to hear from you….again. I figured after the last 13 emails to me you would have gotten discouraged, but no, not you! I guess all that praying in “Christ of All Churches” really must work. I love your religion by the way. It’s so inclusive. None of this Catholic, Jewish, Islam bullsh*t. You believe in the #1 Christ of all the churches that are out there….like, in the world! Wow.
Anyway, your camp sounds really nice. It’s just like you, Amina, to sneak your poor ass into the womens camp. You silly little minx! I bet you’re pulling a lot of “prisoner of war” ass in that camp!
Oh, and I am having a really nice day. And I am thinking of you. I often do. I’m still waiting, however, for you to send me the contact info of the “Finance Bank.” They sound so official and it’s amazing that that name wasn’t already taken. I’d like to think that since you are in an all women’s prison camp it must be the luck of “Christ of All Churches” that you randomly typed in my email address. Now I’m not so good with “the numbers” so I guess I’m going to just transfer all the money I have into one of your prison bank accounts. This way at least you may not have to turn tricks for a pack of cigarettes next week.
Anyway, I’m rambling, but you always do that to me, Amina. You’re such a good listener and friend. Well, write back soon. I’d love to hear about the camp food and things you do to pass time during the day.
P.S –> It’s great you get to use the Internet.
Best Friends For Life,