Eva Longoria is in the middle of a stinky disaster sandwich (it exists, trust me). She may look all smiles, but when Eva was trying to enjoy the Spurs game I’m pretty sure she’s in process of declaring jihad. Time to elevate that wacky color coded alert system to red! Eva was surrounded by some dude to the left of her and the guy that played Punjab to the right of her. I bet that area smelled minty fresh. That wasn’t offensive, right? Anyway, if someone were to declare jihad again I feel it should totally be declared by Eva and it should be sponsored by Goya or 7-Up and the letter “E.” Today’s jihad declaration is brought to you by Goya and the letter E! It’s about time jihad got sponsored.