China Claims World's Fastest Train (Please Re-Read With Sarcastic Overtone and Eye Roll)


Just be lucky the conductor doesn’t have to change lanes.  Ugh, China is claiming they have the world’s fastest train.  This “missile of inevitable  explosive fiery death” can go upwards of 217 miles per hour from Guangzhou and Wuhan.  Are those places or appetizers?  You know what other Chinese mode of transportation goes upwards of 217 mph?  The Fung Wah bus that goes from Boston to New York City.  I kid, it only goes 70 mph and it crashes 94.7% of the time between these two cities, so maybe having something like a train hit 217 isn’t the best idea.  No joke, I once saw the Fung Wah crashed horizontal IN a toll booth on the highway.  Horizontal. Crashed.  Toll booth.  You do the math.

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