In the meantime, I’m not a big country music fan and was horrified when Carrie Underwood’s song “Before He Cheats” made on to mainstream radio. I gave it a chance and listened to the words and here’s what I heard:
“I dug my key into the side of his pretty little suped up 4-wheel drive,
Carved my name into his leather seat…
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
Slashed a hole is all 4 tires…
And maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats.”
Um, yeah you sound both crazy and dumb. Maybe he cheated on you because you’re a bit of a psycho. You’re not too smart either. Why would you carve your name into his leather seat? Now he totally knows it was you who did it and your name is tied to the scene of the crime. Dumb move, crazy. You also had a Louisville slugger, a key, and a knife. How the hell were you carrying all that crap? Didn’t anyone see you walking up the street with all these “weapons” in your hand? I don’t know if “he’ll think before he cheats” as much as “he’ll do a criminal background check before he dates.” I hate to say this, Carrie, but I’m going to have to make a citizens arrest. Just put down the knife and the bat. Luckily you’re still hot, so I can look past you being dumb, crazy, and mean. Carry on.