Bon Jovi and Wife Same Person?

Know how Michael Jackson and LaToya Jackson are actually the same person? They are. Well I’ve been searching for the white version of that for years. 3 to be exact. And, well, I think I may have found it. Jon Bon Jovi and his wife, Dorothea, just finished eating at the Waverly Inn in NYC the other night when the paparazzi descended from helicopters to take their pictures….I assume. Anyjovi, I have 2 questions. (1) Where in the hell is the Waverly Inn and how can I get there as it seems like only celebrities get to go. (2) Who the hell is Bon Jovi’s wife and why haven’t I seen her before? I know a nice girl from Boston who would trade places with Dorothea in a second and not just because she’s a home-wrecking-whore, but because she’s really into Bon Jovi and she cares about the community (I through that in there for good measure). Dorothea sounds like a nuns name and she’s looking a little rough around the edges and by edges I mean face. It’s like looking at Bon Jovi with a wig on…and a mean face. Just sayin.

Bon Jovi will be wrapping up their tour here in NYC at Madison Square Garden on July 14th and July 15th so, uh, if you have tickets you should totally go to that. I have no idea where I’m going with this. God bless.

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