Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz Are Dating. I Officially Had a Shot.

It has been rumored officially 4,562 times that Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are dating. Since I am an award winning (award to be determined) journalist I waited for one more instance of these two together before I “reported” on it. Ashlee and Pete were hand and hand (that’s how you catch chlamydia I think) while they were leaving Parc just the other night. People were surprised that they were holding hands in front of all the paparazzi. Do I care about any of this? Nope. I’m pissed actually. If this is true, I think I really would have a shot with Ashlee. Oh, and I’m not talking about the old Ashlee that looked like a Fraggle had dry-humped her head. I’m talking about the new nose and chin Ashlee or as I like to call her “the better Ashlee.” I’ve really learned my lesson about being superficial. Oh, and I don’t mean that I learned “not to be superficial.” I have learned that even if the chick isn’t that hot, but is rich you should totally date her because there’s always a chance you can talk her into some sort of plastic surgery. Sometime life teaches you some really tough lessons. However, my friends, you are never to old to learn. You may be too ugly to learn, but never too old. Words of wisdom from IBBB, words of wisdom.
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