If it’s one thing I can’t get enough of it’s Amanda Bynes. She’s as American as apple cake and the the 4th of October. To sum up, she’s all I’ve ever wanted and all I long for. She’s just the right amount of crazy to take this here site to new levels…insane levels…levels that could get me in trouble in a court of law. And you know what? I’m fine with all of it. People are all up in fat-lady-arms that “the media” is too tough on Amanda since they think she has mental issues. First off, I’m clearly not the media. Second of all, even if she did have mental problems I treat everyone equal; from a trash bag teenage mother in West Virginia to a former Tween star who may or may not throw bongs off her penthouse apartment just blocks from where I live. Plus, I read a Highlights once that I’m pretty sure stated that mental illness is nothing more than someone who just basically drank too much of the coo-coo juice.
This week, when Amanda was finished with her “Drake is Ugly” and “I Love Drake” Tweets on the regular, she tossed a spoonful of amazement our way stating, “I want a million dollars a year for illegally having my mind read and privacy stolen.” I’d like to file a counter-claim. I want 2 million dollars a year for being addicted to Amanda Bynes.
Mandy Pants (as I will now refer to her as) always claims that if you have something to say about her you should reach out to her directly. So here goes it:
Senorita Amanda, I’m reaching out to you directly as I would like to have lunch with you at Planet Hollywood in Times Square to offer you a blogging Internship here at IBBB where you can address all of the media in one fancy place outside of Twitter. I patiently wait for your response. I’ll assume if you don’t respond it’s only because I’m ugly and, well, we know how that goes.
In closing, I have to admit the only person who should be managing Amanda Bynes’ life and career is Kelly Cutrone. I know it, you know it, and deep down Amanda’s Walgreen’s aisle 7 Halloween fright wig knows it.
In extra closing, feel free to Tweet this blog post to @AmandaBynes and @ibbb and let’s sell out stat!