Alexandra Paressant & Tony Parker, Skanks

Oh suckie suckie. I would like to go on record of saying that I am here for Eva Longoria when she is ready to come running back to me (please note she doesn’t know me). It appears that Tony Parker may have played, “Sex, Sex, Let’s Have Secret Sex” with Alexandra Paressant. Apparently these two crazy sons-a-bitches first met at Eva and Tony’s wedding and then exchanged skanked out text messages and then met up in stink-ass Paris on September 29th and banged until the Red Sox won the World Series. Alexandra has spoken with X17 and here’s what Skanky McSlutty-Pants had to say:

“We had room service. He said that Eva sexually speaking does not want to do certain things. She do not want to make love in front of a mirror, does not like certain position and thinks that sperm gives acne.”

Later when Alexandra was asked about Tony’s marriage to Eva, she said that Tony said,

“Everybody has to get married at some point for he still has time to enjoy life.”

Here are my thoughts. If this is true, they’re both skanks. If this isn’t true, she’s a skank and a whore (yes there’s a difference) and has disgraced her family’s name. Regardless I think that Eva should come and meet me. What, just sayin’.

As a side note, this chick was on America’s Next Top Model, German Edition, which…wait, it’s actually called “Germany’s Next Top Model.” Also, if this is the same random chick I’m thinking of, she used to go out with Ronaldinho, the Brazilian footballer dude, and he ended up suing her as she spread rumors about him partying with her and never going to practice, etc. I smell a whore….and that whore smells good.

Who Said That!?!
Alexandra Paressant & Tony Parker, Skanks

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