Woo-hoo it’s Lauren’s 21st birthday for the 1oth time! Awesome! You know what that means, there is only room for drunken fights, crying, slurring of words, and bad analogies from Whitney.- Audrina and Heidi trying to plan a surprise party makes me nervous. Seriously, their plan makes no sense. I think it actually involves pissing off the birthday girl. Good idea. They’re saying things to each other and then responding by saying, “yeah, good idea.” Really? What the hell are they talking about? Worst plan ever.
- No joke, does Heidi do anything at work? She’s on the phone at work talking to Steve Sanders and Jenn Bunney just randomly shows up. Oh and by “randomly” I mean “scripted/instructed.”
- Uh, Jenn Bunney is retarded. Heidi hints around 15 times that she has to go back to work because she’s busy and Jenn just keeps talking. Technically, she’s a retarded bunny.
- Lisa Loveless better be invited to Lauren’s surprise party or I’m going to be pissed.
- Whoa, I’m shocked. Lauren actually fell for Heidi’s plan to make her think that she is ditching out on her birthday plans for Steve Sanders. Lauren just got waaay stupid, yet waaaay hotter. Hmmm, dumb works for her.
- Heidi has to remind people to yell “surprise” when Lauren walks in. Is it possible to have a room filled with people who are more retarded than Heidi? Apparently so.
- Sweeeeet! Another guest appearance from Lo.
- Steve Sanders gives a toast to Lauren that basically goes like this, “I’m banging your friend, so if I want to continue to bang her I’ll say a few nice words to you.” Oh, and somehow Steve managed to cram more teeth into his mouth. Perhaps he borrowed some teeth from Audrina?
- I couldn’t be more disappointed that there was no drunken fighting at the bar. What a waste.
- Jenn Bunney is a crazy stalker. She just shows up at Lauren’s apartment. Oh wait, here’s the fight. Pheeeew!
- Hmmm Lauren has only one fighting style. She fights with Jenn the same way she fought with Heidi. She-talks-in-segments-when-she’s-fighting-and-y-e-l-l-i-n-g.
- Seriously, put Jenn Bunney on suicide watch. She’ll be taking a dirt nap before you know it.
Holy Christ! Be sure to tune in next week when Whitney falls down the stairs. Is there really any more to say than that? Falls. Down the stairs. Falls down the stairs.