Lauren Conrad Not Pregnant/Talented

I love me some Lauren Conrad. I even love me some LC. I love when Lauren’s voice is all raspy, like she was the party-whore the night before. Hot. Luckily, Lauren has not totally f’d her life up and is, in fact, not pregnant. Lucky for her because I’m pretty sure that Spencer would have taken the baby from her and taught tried to make it an infant hip-hop rapper. Just my assumption.

Lauren’s rep told OK! Magazine that “The only person pregnant in Lauren Conrad’s life is her publicist and you can quote me on that.” I just did quote you, bossy bitch.

Rumors had been circulating like anti-psychotic medication running through Britney Spears’ veins that someone from Laguna Beach/The Hills was “with child.” Everyone assumed it was Lauren, while I did my best to cover up the fact that Lisa Loveless may be, in fact, having my child. We’ll know more in 8 more months. Just sayin’.

Other other “pointless pregnancy rumor news” I’m pretty sure the lady up the hall from me is pregnant. Either that or she’s on her period and bloated. Hmm, I should ask her if she knows who’s pregnant on The Hills.