It’s been a while since we’ve seen Lauren Conrad a bit on the tipsy side. Oh, and by “tipsy” side I really mean “3-sheets to the wind.” LC and the gang were out enjoying themselves at Crown Bar last night. Lauren made sure to put on her best Target palm-tree themed anti-mold shower curtain because if she was going to puke on herself she certainly wanted to make sure it wasn’t going to stain. At least Lauren did the right thing and didn’t get behind the wheel herself. Nope, she slumped into the back seat as someone drove her ass home.
You know what that conversation in the back seat must have been like. “I love you guys for taking me home. No really Iloveyouguys. (insert tears). I’ve just been through so much in the past 2 years. 2 years. 2 years. 2 (hiccup) years. You guys wannago get pizza? Hey (slaps the back of the drivers head) get us some pizza. Seriously. Go! (Is now uncontrollably angry) Take us to get some f*ckin’ pizza you f*ckin’ piece of sh!t. You’re my driver. I hired you (slaps back of head). F this. Pull over. I’ll drive. No really, lemme drive. Lemme drive. Lemme drive. Lemme drive. Lemme drive. Lemme drive (hiccup). I hate all you guys. I’m not kidding. I hate you all. If you all died I wouldn’t even care. (passes out). (wakes up). (pukes out window). I’m never drinking again. Never. I’m not kidding. Hey, who are you guys? Who’s driving? Where’s Lo? Are we rolling on this?”