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Fun With Lauren Conrad’s Myspace!

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Me gusta Myspace! You may remember we had some fun with Lindsay Lohan’s Myspace blog a few weeks ago. Well good old Lauren Cockpig posted a little blog about a recent rumor and, well, the fans came rushing to her defense. Let me just say that no one is a bigger loser-tool-douche-bag than me, but some of these comments come in a close second. Let’s peruse, shall we?

~ Yeah, some people totally are haters, but perhaps “rAcHeL” is a bit more of a hater since she is clearing making fun of Whitney with her “do ur thinK lauren.” P.S, try using punctuation.

~ Here we go with another low blow. Keep your chin up? Why not just make fun of Heidi to her face/chin?

~ Honestly, I have no clue what you’re talking about. Now don’t get me wrong, I like the “……” more than anyone, but this is borderline not readable. Is that a word? It is now. Hit the books.

~ Hahaha! Oh J-NYC. You are totally “crazy” and a “weirdo.” Don’t pretend you’re not. If Lauren ever talked to you personally you would probably end up putting her in your trunk and dropping her off in a ditch somewhere…..but not before turning her into a human puppet. See you on “To Catch a Predator!”

~ Well well well, Charlotte. Finally, a breath of fresh air! You’ve given me an idea. The next time I see Lauren post a blog IBBB is going to post a comment too. Ohhhh it should be something good. I will start planning now. Get ready!

~ Yes, my friends, you should be looking up to someone you don’t know. That makes total sense. Sure your mom and dad are working their asses off to feed your fat ass and keep you in school but, you’re right, Lauren Conrad is the real role model.

~ “Wat else can u do?” You could totally study hard, sweetheart, because from the looks of this comment you’re about two sentences away from asking me to clean my windshield as I’m stopped at a red light. Stay in school!

~ Creepy Alert! Creepy Alert! Creepy Alert! Yowza. Where to begin? “Be my innocent queen tonight?” Ah, no means “no” you creepy perv. You may say that to your dolls that outline the entire border of your bedroom before you go to bed each night, but no one wants to read something like that ever again. Although, I must say, I do think you totally have a shot with her.

~ It’s good to have goals, Jenny. However, you’d be surprised as to just how cost effective it is to stalk people. Therefore, you don’t have to be rich to one day run into Lauren. Just save up enough babysitting money and buy a plane ticket to LA. Then just sit your ass on her front stairs and wait for her to come out. It’s pretty cheap. And the paparazzi that sit outside of Conrad Manor typically have gum and mints for you to snack on whilst you wait. Best wishes!

Ah, well that concludes another segment of “Fun With Myspace.” Come to think of it, this isn’t illegal or anything, right? I mean, these people posted this stuff publicly so it’s fair game right?

Well I’ll just do the disclaimer that the movies do: “The events, myspace people and/or animals depicted in this blog post are fictitious. Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental.”

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