Yay! Hey boys and girls! Look who it is! It’s everyone’s favorite multiracial terrorist, “Chong the Flying Mexican Magician!” Hooray! Yay! And look, boys and girls, he’s about to use his flying “stick” to make a direct attack on that blue building filled with candles! Ooooo, aaaaaah, ohhhhhhh! “Chong the Flying Mexican Magician” is also signaling other terrorist attacks thanks to his secret language that is hovering above his head. Hmmm, maybe he’s just thinking it? He’s soooo mysterious, you know, since he’s missing eyes and a nose, but he has extra dirty-sanchez to go around for everyone! Hooray! But “Chong the Flying Mexican Magician” better be careful because that grass looks really sharp. I bet it could even slice his zappatos. Ole! I can barely wait for the sequel! No for real, this is supposed to be Ugly Betty, right?
If my kid ever came home with this drawing I’d start to immediately disclose some important “Santa Claus information.” You know what I’m talking about. Don’t make me say it. Moreover, if you see something, say something. Well I see a flower that’s about the size of Mount Saint Helens. Tell your mother to take care of her property for cripes sakes. And why did he stop drawing after just 8 candles? He made spots for 11 more candles and, well, I demand to see them. Way to give up less than halfway through. Good luck in your future career of reenacting scenes from Harry Potter in your local park to a crowd of pigeons and homeless folk. Although the chefs hat and angel at the bottom were a nice touch. Maybe there’s hope for you yet. I jest. You’re a lost cause. Up, up and away!