Why Did They All Turn Into Fran Drescher?

snooki-harpers-bazaar-jwoww-sami

Well Harper’s Bazaar just fell into the dumpster and hit every female cast member of Jersey Shore on the way down.  First of all, why is that the way “Bazaar” is spelled?  Is that the correct way?  I don’t get it.  Eh, I’m not checking.  Second, according to detective work that may have been done by a 4th grader, Snooki, JWoww ShamWow, and Sammi SweatStains all got an un-needed makeover for the magazine.  Why does everyone keep making them over?  If I wanted to see girls from Jersey looking nice and tame I’d head to the convent.  I want to see Snooki and crew looking like they all just got off the Bang Bus.  And, if this photo is accurate, the “girls” all got turned into Fran Drescher which can be a good thing only 14% of the time.

JWoww ShamWow’s boobs look like they’re snacking on Snooki.  Sammi SweatStains looks like she she’s pushing out #2, and Snooki looks like her “freakin’ poof” has been shellacked and she’s trying to “catch talent” in her hand.  Either way, this is all good enough to get me through the downtime in between seasons.

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