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Is it December 3rd yet? Is it December 3rd yet? Now? How ’bout now? December 3rd? Ugh. MTV’s Jersey Shore, as you know will be starting up very shortly. The west coast gets characters perfect for “The Hills.” Here on the east coast, we get the characters from Jersey Shore. MTV has released some cast photos and whilst I don’t want to waste all my jokes on the photos alone (since I’ll need to save them for the actual show), I’ve decided to post these pictures now anyway.
Honestly, I don’t even know what they’re standing in front of in these pictures. I’ll just assume it’s a toxic nuclear waste dump. I mean you gotta love the girls all sticking out their chests and either wearing their leather skirts or torn up jeans with hair filled with so much Aqua Net that you”re guaranteed to break at least three fingers if you were to run your hand through it. I’m also pleased that they’re doing their signature “Myspace” poses that consist of their heads tossed back and pretending they’re kissing the camera. Awesome. I think I just got herpes from looking at them.
And the dudes are no better. If you’re trying to hit tilt on the douche-o-meter while taking pictures be sure to do the “point” towards the camera and there’s always the good old “peace fingers” too. That never gets old. Just be sure to gel the absolute piss out of your hair, wax your eyebrows so it looks like they were drawn in with a thin Sharpie, and get as many skeleton belts, shirts, and necklaces as you can. Overall, just try to capture the look from 2001 and never let it go. Never. Let. It. Go.
P.S –> That short girl is Lil’ Kim, right?
Play the trivia game “Jersey Shore Hair…or Just an Animal?” by clicking on the video below: