When Jennifer Aniston’s In a Bikini, People Touch Themselves

Finally scientific proof that when Jennifer Aniston is in a bikini people just spontaneously start touching themselves (see above photo with pervy perverson). Jennifer Aniston was at a Miami hotel getting some sun and obviously she doesn’t mind mixing in with the common folk. Now that I know this I will certainly up my stalking of Jennifer Aniston. I just assumed she would be placed in a locked cage while on vacation so that people couldn’t just attack her. Note to self. Anyway, I don’t even know what I would do if I saw Jennifer Aniston at the same hotel as me in a bikini. Actually, I know exactly what I would do. I’d scream like 14 year old school girl from one lounge chair over from her and I would, of course, yell over “Are the Friends really friends” whilst touching myself. I am a gentleman after all, I would of course show interest in her while going to town on my sex stick. Seriously what? I just crossed my own line. I feel abused.

Moving on, Jennifer is currently filming her latest movie with Owen Wilson and was just on the season finale of “Oprah’s Big Rack” on Sunday night. While on the finale, Jennifer Aniston gave $30,000 of her own money to the contestants who didn’t win. Wow! That’s like $210,000! Wait, didn’t she get $1.5 million per episode of ‘Friends?’ Cheapo. And before you start yelling at me for “what did I give to charity” I actually have donated. I gave $5.25 to a homeless guy just over the weekend. Well….it wasn’t so much a homeless guy as it was a lady….and she worked at Dunkin Donuts….and she gave me an iced coffee and bagel in exchange for the $5.25. But same thing, regardless.
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