Not Really a Jennifer Aniston Story

Jennifer Aniston was caught at London’s Heathrow airport yesterday and didn’t look too psyched that her picture was being taken….although her left boob did as it is technically smiling for the camera. Look close.

Ok, so there isn’t really a good Jennifer Aniston story with this picture, but it’s a great segway for me to tell my quick and equally boring story of bumping into David Schwimmer on Saturday night at the Waverly Inn in NYC.

My friend Maria was in the Big Orange to visit her favorite blogger so we decided to really celebrity-tourist-trap it up and check out Ye Waverly Inn. F it. I’m fine with admitting we went. We were both looking forward to overpriced drinks, a long wait to be seated, and we were also playing our favorite game “If ________ (insert celebrity name) walked in here tonight would you go to jail over them.” What a hoot that was. I admitted that I would go to jail if the Olsen sluts showed up, or Tyra Banks, or anyone from The Hills. Anyway, the Waverly Inn is about the size of my apartment and we were at the bar having a drink when David Schwimmer showed up. As he walked by me it took EVERYTHING in my willpower to not yell out “Are the Friends really friends?” I always said if I ever ran into anyone from Friends I would yell that to them. That’s runny right? However, my friends, I am sad to announce that I did not yell that out. I blame the lack of vodka in my system as I was only on drink number 1. I feel like I failed you. I’m ashamed.

Anyway, to wrap up, my sister text messaged me and instructed me to ask him where Marcel was, followed by a text message from my brother-in-law requesting that I tell David Schwimmer that, and I quote, “he is just a pussy who was just standing in the right line at the right time.” While these were all great suggestions I did not do any of them. Clearly I was the pussy who was in the right line at the right time and didn’t take advantage of the situation. Oh well. Long live celebrity stalking.

David Schwimmer was a lot shorter and skinnier in person than I would have thought. He was with some chick in a dress and some dude who had some cowboy bandanna around his neck. It was all odd. The waiters kept sending them over bottles all night long. Meanwhile, we paid about $77,000 on our drinks. Thanks for nothing Ross.