Oh wait, I’m sorry, what? I think, I think this was sent to me as Heidi Montard’s new song, but I pressed play and listened to it and I’m pretty certain that Mother Mary and all the angels and saints are singing this song. Just when I thought Heidi couldn’t technically get any worse she fell through the shit floor, fell into a bunch of shit, busted through that shit, and then picked up that shit, ate some of that shit, flossed her teeth with that shit, garggled with that shit, and then sang this song. Clearly, this is the highlight of my week.
Heidi’s new song, “Fashion” sounds similar to that beautiful and talented singer “Shauna” who sang “Never Gonna Be, the Same Again” from the movie Teen Witch. Still with me? Anyway, just when I’m like what in the holy hell is Heidi singing I think she started going all Chinese or some shit. Is that French? Yuck.
Now keep in mind that according to Us Weekly, Heidi said about the song “It’s the greatest song of my life.” It really is. I’m thinking they should start up the Olympic games with this song….or at least the Special Olympics with it. Yeah, I went there.
I’m really looking forward to the music video. My money is on it being Heidi singing in the petite department at Sears while Specer tapes it with his cell phone. Yes/No?
Oh well. It’s never gonna be, the same again. It’s never gonna be (never gonna be) the same again.