Heidi Montag’s Butt Implants

I wish, I wish I could turn away from the crazy-train that is “The Hills” but I can’t. It’s a disease, like syphilis but makes you a little more crazy…and itchy. Anyway, according to E-Online Heidi Montag is considering have butt implants (or ass implants as the kids are calling it). According to these guys, Heidi told them that she’s been going to the gym and can’t really add any inches to her pancake-like flat ass, so she may just go ahead and go under the knife for a butt implant. Great! I say don’t stop with the plastic surgery until you can technically melt whilst laying out at the beach.
I was chatting with a friend today about Heidi and told my friend I was convinced that Heidi has actually be replaced by her mom’s horse at Crested Butte. Notice how you no longer see the horse on The Hills, but you constantly see Heidi all around town and looking a little different? Clearly, she is the horse in disguise. It’s simple math. Here are some other “implants” that I’d like Heidi to get:
  • Good singing vocal chord implants
  • Personality implants
  • Seagull-scaring-flailing-arm implants
  • Friend implants
  • And a boombox implant for Spencer
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