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Harriet Carter Wednesday: The Stalker

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First off, Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday. Second, this weeks Harriet Carter post will be a bit different. Why you ask? Because Iā€™ve officially found out exactly who ā€œfailure model chickā€ is. Now if you are new here today, donā€™t even bother reading this. If you are one of the many die-hard Harriet Carter Wednesday readers you are probably rejoicing over the uncovering of ā€œfailure model chick.ā€ Donā€™t ask me how I found her. I just did. To my surprise her name isnā€™t technically ā€œfailure model chick.ā€ Itā€™s actually Rachael Platt. Boring. Regardless Iā€™m going to continue calling her ā€œfailure model chick.ā€ Also, sheā€™s technically isnā€™t a failure as a model because ā€œfailure model chickā€ has the following accomplishments under her belt:

  • A finalist for the prestigious Ms. Trump Taj Mahal (The Apprentice on NBC)
  • Jersey Style Magazine covergirl (breezy, yet easy)
  • Longhorn Tobacco Calendar Girl (Mmm smokey and cancerous)
  • Sweetheart Gowns Bridal Magazine
  • And, of course, the Harriet Carter Catalog

At least this finally explains why I havenā€™t been able to break into the Harriet Carter modeling industry. Iā€™m just a simple dude from a blog. Iā€™ve never been on a New Jersey magazine cover and have never been a finalist for anything.

I love how ā€œfailure model chickā€ is all kind and sweet modeling a hat or leopard caftan in the Harriet Carter Crapalog, but get her in another photoshoot and she goes straight to skank. Honestly, I think thatā€™s her best bet anyway. Going straight to skank is always your best bet when your career is tanking. I actually just spoke of this concept the other day in my Brooke Hogan blog post. I wonder what Harriet is going to think when she discovers that her cute little hat model is also being photographed with her boobs hanging out. I mean what will the customers think? You think theyā€™re still going to buy a car seat neck pillow or a flying pig hat that claps when you pull the string from ā€œfailure model chickā€ now that they know her troubled past? Sales will likely plummet. Could this be the end of the Harriet Carter catalog? Da-da-duuuuuun!

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