• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

IBBB

  • Fashion
    • Jeans
    • Sneakers
    • Watches
  • Skincare
    • Moisturizers
    • Body Washes
    • Eye Creams
  • Fragrances
    • Cologne
    • Perfume
    • Colognes on Sale
  • Trends
    • Cannabis Infusers
    • Mystery Games
    • Portable Blenders
  • Sales
    • Vacuums
    • Mattresses
    • Sheets
  • Gifts
    • Gifts For Women
    • Gifts For Men
    • Gifts For Teens
  • Deals
    • YETI
    • Solo Stove
    • Gymshark
    • Ruggable
    • All Deals
  • TikTok Essentials
    • Viral Products
    • SkinTok Beauty
    • TikTok’s Books

Harriet Carter Product of the Week: Sexcuses

Author: ibbb
Last Major Update: February 24, 2011

harriet-carter-magnetic-pad

The Magnetic Pad – Are you tired of “doing sex” with your husband?  Have you used “time of the month” excuses at least twice a week since the late ‘80s?  Did you think your cheap flammable lingerie (pictured above) would turn him off so that you could finally get a nice nights sleep free of penetration?  Well if you’ve run out of excuses to “quit the banging” does Harriet Carter have the product for you!  Take a peak at the “Magnetic Pad.”  Finally, science put to good use!  Simply place this (more than likely) future cancer causing highly charged magnetic field on you bed, awkwardly lay sideways, and presto chango your legs are virtually glued together!  So when your husband is looking to take a walk in the garden, if you know what I mean, (spoiler alert:  I mean sex) you don’t even have to rack your brain for excuses you just need to point towards the pad, shrug your shoulders, and simply state “science.”  You’ll be sleeping like a baby in no time and he’ll be humping that long body pillow you bought him for his birthday until he’s dry-heaving over the side of the bed and screaming for God to pluck him from this miserably heartless world.  Ladies, please note that after countless months of using the Sexless Pad your husband may begin to foster additional ideas.  It is vital that you change things up once in a while and place your fat ass on the pad as he is less likely to have frank discussions with you about “entering the property through the back door.”  The “magnets” can keep that closed as well.  And be on the look out for a “mouth pad” and “hand pads” coming to a Walgreen’s near you in Spring 2011.  “Magnetic Pads:  Because Only Science Can Stop Him.”

Get Social:  Join Me!

twitter-button facebook

And This Too:

  • Harriet Carter Product of the Week: Sleeve Garters
  • Harriet Carter Product of the Week: Sexy Sock Time
  • Harriet Carter Product of the Week: The Coke Purse
  • Harriet Carter and Harriet Carter

Filed Under: harriet carter

Primary Sidebar

Get Social

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Oh Hey!

IBBB hopes you love these product recommendations. When you choose to buy our editorially chosen picks, we may earn affiliate commissions from the links on this page. It helps keep the lights on around here! Read more here.

Footer

About Us

Contact Us
Media Kit
Affiliate Disclosure
Privacy Policy

MENU

Toys + Games
Tech + Gadgets
Book Clubs + Reviews

MENU

Beauty + Skincare
Products + Reviews
Reality Shows + Recaps

Copyright © 2022 IBBB, Inc.

A Part of the IBBB, Inc. Family:
Brostrick.com | Jenraly.com | Giftsicle.com