On the 4th Day of Christmas, my white-trash love gave to me, 4 “Diva Las Vegas” Whorebears, 3 Magnetic Eyeglass Holders, 2 Pussy Ticklers, and a Failure Model Chick in a pear tree!
On the 4th Day of Christmas: Finally, Diva Las Vegas whore-stuffed animals that make the perfect gift for any gambling degenerate slampig in your life! Just look at the exquisite detail around the hat! If you guessed that was genuine fur, you’d be wrong. If you guessed flammable polyester with synthetic pigeon feathers…you’d be right! And check out the way this skank-bear has “her” legs crossed. Oh la la, what a real lady! Even this lady needs to be a tramp every once in a while and when you push her paw she sings and shakes “Diva Las Vegas.” Get it? She’s a diva. Oh and she looks like a diva. You know how diva’s always wear sunglasses with diamond dice on each lens? Oh, and you know how diva’s always wear sequins scarves? Yeah, diva’s are like that. So if you have a true diva in your life that likes to go to Bingo, has about 40 Troll Dolls in a glass case, has a cat named “Mitzy,” and a bumper sticker that says, “My Kids Think I’m an ATM” then this is the perfect gift to complete her “Diva Collection.” If IBBB had his way (I felt like speaking in the 3rd person like Lindsay Lohan does with her Myspace blogs) he would make sure that when you pressed the bears paw she really said, “I’m the reason your house has been foreclosed. I’m the reason you missed your mortgage payment.”
…and a Failure Model Chick in a pear treeeeeee!
Be sure to check back tomorrow for the 5th Day of Christmas! Ole!