Happy Birthday Candace Cameron, the Best Geek Burger with Cheese That I Don’t Know.


Happy Belated Birthday to Candace Cameron or as I continually refer to her as “DJ” or sometimes pronounced “Deeej.”  I typically stick my chin out when I do that as way to look more like Stephanie Judith Tanner.  I’m sure I totally look like a geek burger with cheese when I do it, but I figured the Paula Abdul posters of Paula wearing a leopard skin bikini top taped up to my wall just feet away from Mr. Bear probably makes me seem even more like a Greek burger with cheese (shout out to Papouli…..oopa!).

DJ Tanner is 34 years old today and, the last time I checked, she is not, in fact, married to Steve, which is heartbreaking really.  I bet that Kimmy Gibbler scooped him up after she dumped that plumber, Duane.  First Kimmy copies the same sunglasses that “Deeej” said she liked and now she steals her man.  Two-timer.

What can we say about our favorite Deeej?  If I’m not talking about her doing the “one knee touch down” when she was overexercising at the gym with her entire family (and Ant Becky in a cameltoed unitard), I’m referencing the time when DJ sang “Lollipops and Gummi Bears” to little Michelle in a shopping cart at the Wake Up San Francisco 24 hour telethon (the same one where Uncle Jesse performed “Be True to Your School” with the Beach Boys and the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders because, you know, that makes sense).  Sometimes I refer to Kathy Santone’s pool party.  However, I don’t believe I ever (in over 3 years) mentioned that time when DJ was taking her SATs and had a nightmare that she was on Wheel of Fortune in which she learned by solving the puzzle that Kimmy Gibbler was going to Stanford University and poor DJ was only going to “Clown U.”

Well, with that said, happy birthday Deeej!  Clown U would have been a better place with you in it.  Oopa!

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