Dina Lohan is the White Tyra Banks

People thought they were funny when they said that Dina Lohan was the “white Oprah” because Dina was trying to be a talkshow host. Yeah, that’s too easy. If you really think about it Dina is more like the white Tyra Banks. No matter what the topic, Dina always seems to bring things back to her.

Somehow Dina made it into the pages of BazAAr magazine because I guess she does…something? I know she’s Lindsay Lohan’s mother, but I think that’s where it ends. Here’s what Dina had to say:

“Look at me,” Dina Lohan said in the latest Harper’s Bazaar, in which she talked about her daughter’s run-ins with celebrity photographers. “Diana will happen again.”

Dina on critics of her parenting techniques: “I’m living the American dream, and you can go . . .”

Dina on wearing Lindsay’s clothes and partying with the young actress: “If you can button it and clip it when you’re in your 40s, you’re going out.”

Dina on introducing herself as her daughter’s personal assistant: “I don’t want them to know I’m her mom. It’s a whole ‘nother demographic. People just go dark.”

Dina on the other panty-less members of the “Bimbo Summit” – Paris Hilton and Britney Spears: “They’re the American dream. They’re the Trumps of the little world, these kids. Paris is a really smart girl, and she’s come really far. Paris’ mom was wonderfully embracing to me. You know, you can’t blame parents for kids.”

Dina on whether her daughter is an alcoholic: “Noooo! She is just a 20-year-old who had to reel it in. And she’s from an addictive personality genetically. And in that world, they give you things like candy. Hurt your ankle? ‘Let’s give her something.'”

Yeah Dina rocks. Oh, and by “rocks” I actually mean “is white trash.” I love it when mothers dress like 16 year old whores and tell people to go “f” themselves. Very sweet. “Angel-like” actually.