The Funniest Hills Recaps Ever

We will never forget our love for all things "The Hills." Read through our favorite Hills recaps of all time!

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The Hills Series Finale Recap: So That Ending Was Specifically For Me, Right?

Join Me on Facebook! I have no words.  Ok, I have a few.  I’m feeling many mixed emotions now that The Hills is over and I’m having a hard time articulating exactly how this makes me feel.  I researched the brilliance of William Shakespeare, Edgar Allen Poe, Socrates, and Aristotle to help me find the […]

The Hills Recap: The One Where the Producers, Writers, and Directors All Give Up

Join Me on Facebook! Remember on The Hills when LC and Heidi’s friendship was on the fritz and Heidi was going to move out and no one knew if they would be friends again and it was really interesting to watch the drama unfold?  Yeah, well that’s just a distant drunken memory because now we’re […]

The Hills Recap: Costa Rica, Where the Sun Never Shines.

Join Me on Facebook! Here’s what went down, last night, on The 100th episode of The Hills (sorry): Ay yi yi yi yi!  Grab your maracas if you’ve got ’em because all the kids from The Hills have taken time off from their strenuous jobs and have headed to Costa Rica, which I believe is […]

The Hills Recap: Happy 25th Birthday, Teefs!

Sellout Opportunity: Vote for Me Here for MTV TJ (just fill out @ibbb).  Back to your regularly scheduled programming… The Hills has been on for about 15 years and Audrina is just turning 25?  Was she a fetus when they cast her?  A fetus with beaver teeth, of course.  This time around the whole gang […]

The Hills Recap: The One Where Lo and Steph Go Food Shopping (Yup)

Join Me on Facebook! Welcome back to your weekly Hills recap!  Here’s what went down last night on another crapisode of The Hills: We kick things off with Stephanie, Lo, and Audrina sitting around talking about the war, taxes, health care reform, and the rising homeless situation in America.  I’m kidding.  They’re talking about Steph’s […]

The Hills Recap: Why is Allie Lutz in Our Lives?

Like These “Hills” Recaps? Check Out Some More Recent Reality Show Recraps! [ubergrid id=15366] Join Me on Facebook! Heidi and Spencer are still missing.  I’m busy hanging up “missing” signs on all the telephone poles, but here’s what went down on the latest crapisode of The Hills: Kristin and Stacie the Pointless Bartender are getting […]

The Hills Recap: The Return of Justin Bobby!

Join Me on Facebook! Like a slow motion car accident you start to brace yourself in preparation for the big hit and it seems like it takes forever before you actually smash into the car in front of you….here is what what down on last nights crapisode of The Hills: “Friends with benefits” is the […]

The Hills Recap: Meet McKaela (aka LC 2.0)

Join Me on Facebook.  You’ll Hate It! That’s right folks.  It’s time for another episode of The Hills.  Will Audrina not smile whist talking?  Will Lo get interesting?  Will Heidi and Spencer melt and conjoin in the hot LA heat?  Will Kristin makeout with Stacie?  All of these things are not answered on last nights […]

The Hills Recap: The Matrix is Safe. Whatever it is, Heidi is Apparently Not in It. So, Rest Easy America!

Join Me on Facebook! Well it’s time for another crapisode of The Hills.  Like a homeless holding a cardboard box sign with a lot of writing on it, I just can’t not stop and look at it.  Here’s what went down last night on The Hills: We kick things off with HOlly Ethel Mertz Montag […]

The Hills Recap: Happy Pointless Birthday, Enzo!

Join Me on Facebook!  Spread the Word! Annnnnd we’re back to Enzo.  Just when we thought it was safe to ride the drug wave with Kristin we are heading back into “Enzo territory.”  Enzo, which I believe is Spanish for “anyone gets to be on this show,” is getting a birthday party planned by Heidi […]

The Hills Recap: How Do You Know Who’s Not on Drugs?

Join Me on Facebook! Like they said on a very special episode of Saved By the Bell, “There’s no hope with dope!”  Well we’re back to sit through another crapisode of The Hills…an episode where we’re downing as many beers as we can in 30 minutes all whilst punching ourselves in the nuts repeatedly until […]

The Hills Recap: It All Began With Water Balloons in Heidi’s Bra

Check Out the Latest Episode Recap of The Hills Here! The. Hills. Is. Back.  Slap your Momma in the face and shake the booze out of your Daddy’s broken hand because it’s going to be a season to end all seasons.  Literally.  Since this is the last season (wink wink, we ai-not fallin’ for it, […]

The Hills Final Season Preview: The Role of Heidi Montag is Apparently Being Played By Teri Hatcher Wearing a Walgreens Fright Wig

Seriously, when did Heidi Montag turn into Teri Hatcher?  Ay yi yi.  Anycrap, The Hills final script is hot off the scripted press and scriptedly ready to script the nation with scripted words, scripted tears, scripted scenes, scripted drug scenarios, scripted divorces, scripted anger management, scripted teeth, etc.  The one thing that is real?  Eye […]

The Hills Recap: Season Finale: Surprise, Heidi is Enzo's Biological Mother! Just Kidding, Nothing Happened in This Episode Either.

 Remember when there was always a cliffhanger on the season finale of The Hills?  Well the Teefs Fairy ain’t real and neither is The Hills.  There I said it.  During the last episode we get to painfully watch all of the horrific story-lines come together.  Will Heidi admit she’s the mother of Enzo?  Will Jayde […]

The Hills Recap: What Happens in Vegas, is Staged in Vegas.

Oh kids.  Oh my little children.  Blah.  Here’s everything that happened in last nights episode of “The Hills.”  Kristin and Stacie the Pointless Bartender went to Vegas and Justin Bobby showed up/was contractually obligated to go. Stacie the Pointless and Kristin kissed.  J Bob slept over and probably got to second base and Steve Sanders […]

The Hills Recap: Heidi’s Plan to Trick Spencer Into Fatherhood, I Believe, is Illegal and Punishable By Law. I’m Voting Death Penalty.

    So we only have 3 episodes left of The Hills this season and, hopefully, for life.  The thought of the cast consisting of Jayde and Stacie the Pointless Bartender may be more than my little brain can handle.  Here’s what “happened” last night on The Hills: In keeping with the tradition of Season […]

The Hills Recap: Brody's Mom's Face Looks Like Spencer's Vasectomy Procedure.

 IBBB Disclaimer:  This episode is so bad, I just basically ramble.  Read at your own risk. Last night on “The Hills”…. Kristin and Brody are out on a big “date.”  Their “date” lasts just long enough for them to say the following “Hills Catchphrases”: on-a-break, Jayde, broken up, Mrs Bobby, and fight.  They need to […]

The Hills Recap: The "I'm Done" Tour Pushes Forward and Possibly Coming to a City Near You!

Well folks, we are in what I can only assume is the 15,000th episode of The Hills this season.  Somewhere in a barber shop getting her mustache shaved off, Lauren must be laughing at how horrible this season actually is.  There are only so many times Kristin can say “whatever dude.”  After the 16th time […]

The Hills Recap: Holly's Intervention Part II: Stephanie Pratt Helps Lead the Intervention. Those Who Live in Anorexic Houses Should Not Throw Scones. Oh!

This week Holly Montag continues to entertain us with her drinking, her dancing, and her “drink dancing.”  We should all feel very lucky because without this the episode would consist of a conversation between Audrina and LOser and a conversation between Heidi and Steve Sanders.  Here’s what went down last night on Da Hills: We […]

The Hills Recap: Someone Dust Off Candy Finnigan Because Drunken Holly Montag is Getting the World's Fastest Intervention!

  This week on a very special episode of “The Hills,” Kristin provides mosquito nets to children in third world countries, while Lo decides to donate her salary for the year to a homeless family, and Audrina contemplates enlisting in the US Army. Oh, wait, that didn’t happen. Holly gets buzzed, which everyone thinks is […]